Our Place Abroad
Downs & Ups of Dreams Actualized
Dear Italy- and Travel-loving Friends,
Last week I met with a good friend who said she had no idea until the topic popped up in a Fourth of July conversation that I was interested in living in Italy.
“We’ve known each other how long?” I wanted to ask -- but didn’t.
About 29 years, would have been the answer.
She knew that I loved to visit Italy, she quickly offered. She had seen the look of surprise on my face.
I added that, in fact, the next couple of days I would be interviewing people about their decisions to buy property abroad, featured in this month’s issue.
Those who read last month’s All Things Italy, entitled “Escape to What?” may recall that after raising the topic of why people head abroad, I pointed to the numerous challenges writer Constance Fenimore Woolson faced during her years as an expat in Italy. And those of us Woolson-lovers who traveled in May, following in her footsteps, faced our own challenges. So I promised to continue the theme of challenges while abroad this month.
First, though, since there are so many new subscribers here, a little more context for my choice might be in order. (You’ve increased by more than 30% since last month--thanks to you newcomers for signing up!)
I fell in love with Italy when I was an undergraduate university student. Since then I’ve returned whenever the opportunity has arisen. But with education, career, marriage, and family responsibilities, I never thought seriously about living in Italy until after I spent a five-month stint on a Fulbright fellowship, teaching in Sicily in 2009. Those months prompted me to delve into the topic of expat life on the peninsula.
The fifteen years since the Fulbright have been full of research, writing, and dreaming, as I continued my day job as a university professor. My book Engaging Italy is one result of that work, as is this newsletter. More recently, my exploration of expat possibilities picked up speed, as friends have purchased property abroad, and as I considered leaving fulltime university teaching (which I did late in 2022). I’ve chatted with those friends and read about others who have packed up and sold homes, living with little for months at a time, or are making plans to do so.
See, for example, Changing the Channel with Kirsten Powers, especially her piece on “The Way we Live in the United States” and Anne Boyd’s Substack, especially “Two Years Ago I Quit My Life.”
What proves the tipping point to make the big turn? And how do people keep moving, when the challenges could cause paralysis? From language barriers to financial risks—the seemingly mountainous obstacles can keep some of us sitting at the bottom of the slope, watching others ascend. We do little more than pack a carry-on bag for an eight-day adventure and keep dreaming about what others do.
Rather than rely on my limited knowledge of the challenges to answer those questions, I decided to talk with a couple of folks I knew had made the big decisions of buying property abroad and becoming expats.
Last week I interviewed two women, US citizens Jenn Mason (most recently from Massachusetts) and Missy Riley (from Missouri). Their experiences overlap in that both have visas that require fairly substantial financial investments.*
Wait! Before you set their stories aside, thinking they have nothing to do with you, please know that many of their challenges and their means of persevering could apply to anyone trying to live abroad.
Both Jenn and Missy are mature women—not taking a gap year abroad, not living as young digital nomads, and not ones to make haphazard decisions. And both are married, making these adjustments to life abroad with their partners. (Coincidentally, both married men named Matt. Imagine a voiceover with both Matts saying, “Hi. Our names are Matt, and we approve this message.” But also know that these two women would speak up, regardless.)
Both Missy and Jenn shared some of their favorite helpful online resources, such as Smart Move Italy. Several of these are listed at the end of the newsletter.
Beyond these similarities, their experiences differ some, as you will see.
Want to know more about their challenges? Keep reading.
*Information on the types of visas that are available and how to acquire them is readily available on the internet. One of the most popular sites is Get Golden Visa. There are also country-specific agencies, such as Smart Move Italy.
“Our Place in Sicily”
Jenn Mason1 and her husband Matt are restoring a thirty-one room abandoned palazzo2 in the town of Piedimonte Etneo, on the slopes of Sicily’s Mount Etna. The size of their project may seem extravagant to some—but it began as a modest plan, one that includes an emphasis on community building.
As Jenn explained, the palazzo will be their home. But beyond that, they have “many ideas on ways . . . to share the home with family, neighbors, innovative entrepreneurs (especially women), friends and artists.” And they may use the guest house the palazzo includes for an artist-in-residence program or to help Sicilian Americans who need a place to live as they are trying to get Italian citizenship. While occasional vacation rental and creative retreats are possibilities for the space, they also want to build community in their “adoptive town.” To do so, they hope to host events such as a Sunday supper club. They remain open to other options that evolve as well.
Last week when we met on Zoom, I was able to ask Jenn about how and why she and Matt got started, the challenges along the way, and what keeps them going when the way gets wearisome. Here are some of the highlights of that conversation.
Living Purposefully
As Jenn and Matt approached being empty-nesters, when their two daughters were nearing college entrance (the same year), they asked themselves, “What are we supposed to do next?” It was never their plan to do the same old thing every day. They wanted to live more purposefully, giving their lives intention and focus beyond the day jobs they had at the time. (He worked as a software engineer and she had established two cheese businesses—one a storefront in the Boston area and the other online.)
They considered travelling around the US, living in a different location each year. But then, during a food trip to Sicily in the fall of 2020, which she had organized for customers of the cheese business, the island’s people and culture hooked them. They had heard about the one-euro houses, and it seemed that life in Sicily was less expensive than in Boston. They also found the food to be often much better—if only because people there take time to cook and to eat together—something they both treasure.
They wanted to live more purposefully, giving their lives intention and focus beyond the day jobs they had at the time.
Jenn and Matt are both dreamers and had imagined living abroad. Matt visited his aunt and uncle in Japan and then London in his youth—long before university classes as an engineering student kept him from studying abroad. He held the earlier memories close as he considered the future.
After their food trip in 2020, the couple began talking seriously about buying property, looking at real estate online, and investigating the visa possibilities. They did their calculations to determine that, indeed, they could live for less in Sicily than in the Boston area. After this research (and with help from Smart Move Italy), they decided to move forward with a Start Up Investor visa. Through that process, Jenn secured a visa within three months. Matt qualifies for residency as her spouse.
As with most couples, Jenn’s and Matt’s personalities differ. According to her, she is the one who moves more quickly to actualize those dreams. Together, though, they began to make their Sicilian dream become reality. That work is still in process. They work as a team, as you can see from their “Chit Chat with Jenn and Matt” vlogs.
As with most couples, Jenn’s and Matt’s personalities differ. According to her, she is the one who moves more quickly to actualize those dreams. Together, though, they began to make their Sicilian dream become reality.
Rather than purchase property right away, Jenn and Matt rented for a year in Siracusa, on Sicily’s southeast coast. This location gave them a place to call home while they pursued property for sale on the eastern part of the island, not too far from Catania’s airport—an important factor for Matt’s ongoing work contacts and for family and friends’ visits. Not long after their property search began, they found their abandoned palazzo in Piedimonte Etneo. Now they’re renting an apartment in the town while Jenn oversees the restoration work and Matt continues working—now remotely—as a software engineer.
The Obstacles
Jenn and Matt’s first challenges arose before the purchase, however, with the Permesso di Soggiorno, the permit to be acquired from any town in Italy for legal residence there. Jenn already had the visa for remaining in the country, with Matt as her spouse, which they easily obtained in the US before they arrived in Sicily. Because the city office in Siracusa had never dealt with newcomers arriving with the Startup Investor Visa, the clerks at first were unable process their request. Only about forty people throughout all of Italy had acquired this type of visa at that point, so it’s not surprising that the clerks in a smaller city office in Sicily were unfamiliar with the process. Even when Jenn arrived at the office with the attorney she had hired, the attorney had difficulty getting the clerks to act. Eventually, though, after more than one visit, they succeeded.
Once legally settled in their apartment in Siracusa, Jenn and Matt ran into challenges with the purchase transactions with their selected property. They had assistance through all the proper people—the avvocato (attorney), the notaio (notary), the geometra (surveyor)—all of whom have slightly different roles than in US real estate transactions. Nonetheless, with the property being jointly owned by eleven family members, who received it by inheritance, the purchase and transfer of title took a while to organize.
After acquiring the property, when the restoration work began, Jenn and Matt faced other new experiences. They had renovated a structure of a similar age in the Boston area, but here the restoration process is entirely different. In Italy there are building codes that have less to do with safety than with historic preservation—much more strict than in the US (I have been told). And there are tools and equipment that differ due to the difference in architectural structures. Scaffolding, for example, for both inside and outside of buildings, is an expensive part of renovating a multi-story, tile-roofed, stucco structure built on a steep hillside. The Masons’ restoration includes (among many other things) a new roof, new floors, and restoration of the frescoed ceilings—one of the selling points of the palazzo.
As you might imagine, language differences have played into Jenn’s challenges. She’s grateful for the English fluency of those she and Matt have worked with, but she really wishes she had better Italian skills for the continuing day-to-day interactions.
Another small challenge for Jenn, though, has been related to gender. Almost everyone she’s dealt with, from the architects to the electricians and other workers, normally would have looked to Matt for answers to their questions and approval of their plans. She knew from the outset that in this culture where patriarchy has reigned for so long, she had to “let them know that I am the boss” from their first encounters. She’s able to “make these decisions” on her own, she explained to them. Matt is involved, of course, but he works from noon until 8 p.m. After that, or first thing in the morning, she shares with him any recent renovation questions. She is the one available and responsible for most of the conversations with workers. So far, “everyone has been great about it,” because they “proactively avoided” this issue.
In this culture where patriarchy has reigned for so long, she’s had to “let them know that I am the boss.” She’s able to “make these decisions” on her own.
Now that she’s convinced the team of her position, Jenn faces the challenges of the ongoing dirt, debris and dust of deconstruction AND the slow pace. (See the videos “The whole renovation gets shut down!” and “Demo Days”).
An important flip side to the slow pace, however is that payments are made on a slower schedule. And the slow pace accompanies the slow lifestyle she and Matt wanted when they chose to move to Italy.
Why not give up? “You live in Italy!”
When the slow pace starts to annoy the highly-driven Jenn, she takes time to look around her. “You live in Italy!” she tells herself. What she sees outside, in the town, in the countryside, continues to amaze her. Whether the surprises in the palazzo’s “secret garden” which appear throughout the year, or discovering Piedimonte’s businesses and festivals. What’s boring to Sicilians is not boring to her and Matt, she says. It brings them small bits of happiness every day.
“We wanted to have an adventure—not a part time adventure—but a new purpose.” They have definitely found that, and a better lifestyle, in Piedimonte Etneo.
Want to know more about Jenn and Matt’s project?
Subscribe to their Youtube channel. Dive in to see short & long videos which flesh out the history, way beyond the glimpses above
See more on their website or sign up for their mailing list: Ourplaceinsicily.com
A “Finca Rústica” in Mallorca
When I spoke with Missy Riley3 last week about her experiences, I already knew of two major differences distinguishing her experiences from Jenn’s. The first is that she and her husband Matt bought a three-and-a-half acre farm in Spain, on the island of Mallorca, rather than a palazzo in an Italian town. Their new home abroad is in the community of Sencelles. (The headline photo in this newsletter features a structure on their property.)
The second difference is that the “finca rustica” they purchased did not need to be renovated. Contrary to what the word “rustica” suggests—the “rustic farm” label in Spain designates the property’s protected status as agricultural rather than a term related to any structure on the land. Similar to areas in the US designated as historic neighborhoods, in which restrictions are placed on renovations and new construction, this property designated as agricultural is meant to be preserved rather than developed. Missy and Matt’s finca rustica features olive trees.
Otherwise, Missy’s story of how she and Matt chose to spend time in Spain and the challenges they have faced has several similarities to Jenn’s. Below I share a few of what Missy deemed the greatest wrinkles for her, how she and her husband started their process, and what keeps them going.
A Twenty-Year Dream
Missy and Matt had talked about living in Spain for almost twenty years. He had studied in Madrid as an undergraduate student, and they began to vacation in Spain in 2002. Originally their plan was to buy an apartment in Seville, but after visiting Mallorca, Missy explained, they changed their minds. “We fell in love with Mallorca and felt like we had a family there.” They were visiting a former exchange student who had lived with them in Missouri; the student’s family embraced them, and their love affair with the island and its people began.
The “tipping point” for them, though, was Missy’s planned retirement from teaching and educational administration in July of 2020. They had begun looking at homes online and in person about 2016. That process began with their reaching out to listing agents they contacted directly. However, once they learned about the “Golden Visa,” their budget changed and they worked with the trusted friends they had on Mallorca. They purchased their finca in 2019.
As with the Masons’ real estate transfer, the Rileys’ was more complicated than what they had faced previously in the US. For Missy and Matt, the complications involved the tradition of holding title as a couple, which is not the practice in Spain. (I won’t get into the weeds here of legal issues but will leave only a reminder that having a good attorney on board is important.) Missy and Matt worked through the issue with their attorney before any major snag arose. Unfortunately, a greater snag soon surprised everyone.
The Virus and the Visas
The Covid-19 virus pandemic, which hit soon after their property purchase, brought the Rileys’ visa application process to a halt. Securing their visas actually became one of their first major challenges. The application and renewal have remained their greatest challenges, according to Missy.
Because of the pandemic, although Missy and Matt were ready to go and stay long term, they were not able to do so until October 2021. And they were not able to begin the visa application process until after Covid had “cleared,” she explained. Hoping to “ease the process,” they hired an immigration attorney, found through the Majorca Daily Bulletin (an expat newspaper Missy has found helpful for resources on many topics).
Despite hiring the attorney, there were some mistakes with the application’s submission, delaying the process by six months. Then there was then another six month’s wait for appointments, which had to be scheduled online. They needed “four separate [in person] appointments” overall, each in Palma, the capital, rather than in their local town of Sencelles. And each time they arrived at the national offices for the appointment, the specific office location and the procedure had changed. “It was all very stressful,” Missy added. “Navigating” the bureaucracy was challenging, even with Matt’s Spanish language skills. They felt like outsiders.
“It was all very stressful” . . . . the bureaucracy was challenging.
“We finally received our visas last October,” she explained. But they’re due for renewal application already in August. “Thankfully, we mostly know what we are doing this time, and they should be good for five years.”
For Missy the language barrier adds to the challenges. She has been learning Spanish, and wishes she knew more. Her skills are a constant reminder of their expat status.
Why not Give Up? “We are living our dream”
Despite these struggles, Missy says “it has never been an option” for them to “give up.” After dreaming about something for twenty years, “we truly feel like we are living our dream when we are ‘at home’ in Mallorca.”
What keeps them going is similar to what keeps Jenn and Matt going in Sicily. They love the food and the people in Mallorca. They “love the pace of life.” In fact, for Matt the finca is “a slow project.” It gives him an outlet for his creativity, where he can come up with new projects and putter on them at his own pace.
And, Missy adds, “most of all we love sharing it with family and friends.”
I hope in this rather lengthy newsletter you’ve sensed the enthusiasm with which both these women shared their experiences abroad and their new homes with me. They’ve both been stimulated and distressed by actualizing their dreams. Overall, though, they’re happy that they are creating and nurturing spaces to share with family and friends. They realize at this point in their lives that those relationships are most important.
Should you have questions for them, I’m sure they would be happy to share with you as well. If you can’t reach them directly, I am always happy to arrange virtual introductions.
Meanwhile, do you have thoughts about life abroad you’d care to share? What challenges have you faced? What do you fear? Or are you content simply reading about people like Missy, Jenn and the two Matts?
Please respond in the comments. It means a lot! If you’re shy, send me a private message. And don’t forget to “like” and “share” this issue of All Things Italy. It will help more people see it. And, it keeps me going another month.
Until next month, when I will share some challenges of life abroad from those who have NOT bought property, I hope you will keep dreaming of All Things Italy!
Etta
Websites & Groups Jenn & Missy recommend:
I met Jenn through a Facebook group, Expats in Sicily. I learned about the group from Missy, who participates in a similar group in Spain. At the time, I was looking regularly for property in Sicily, a location I thought amenable to my husband and one we had both enjoyed when we lived there in 2009. On our last trip to Sicily in 2022, we met up with Jenn and her husband Matt to learn more about their adventures as expats in Sicily. Since then, I’ve stayed in touch with Jenn, following those adventures.
Palazzo in Italian means more than “palace.” It also refers to large buildings that often house multiple families.
Missy and her husband Matt have been friends with me and my husband for years, through our shared interests and interactions in Springfield, MO. We have sons about the same age, too. We are grateful to have been among those Missy and Matt have welcomed to their place in Mallorca.
We bought a casale (farmhouse) in the Tuscan hillside almost four years ago, at auction. We moved to Italy in November 2020 into a very strict lockdown. We thought the renovation of our house would take 8 months - it took three years - we finally moved in 8 months ago. Our initial renovation budget more than doubled despite my project managing and generally parsimonious nature! It has been hard - no-one considering this move should underestimate the difficulties they will face on many levels. The bureaucracy, taxes, odd little quirks which dictate what you can or can’t do with your own property (fencing it for one example) are exhausting. There is also what is laughingly referred to by expats as ‘the stranieri tax’ - there are two prices for everything - one for locals and one for foreigners. This in particular I find very frustrating. However having said all that, we have a wonderful life here, the medical system is first class (beating hands down the NHS), and the people are delightful. Will we stay forever? Doubtful as I think when we are older we will want to be nearer our family. Do we regret it? No, it’s an adventure and life is too short not to take chances. Would we do it again? Probably… (but not the renovation!) 😂
Thanks for sharing these stories. Loved reading about Missy’s adventures!